Tag Archives: survive

Out of the mouth of babes…

Hatchlings can say the cutest things sometimes. Other times, they’re lucky their lifespan doesn’t get shortened.

Now, I’m a woman of some size – 5’5″, about a US size 22. I was watching Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” with The Older Hatchling, who must have been about 7 at the time. I mention that I liked the white outfit (briefs/panties, sparkly things hanging about her head, etc.). Totally serious, like she’s just stating a matter of fact, not meant to be mean, she says “But you’re too big for that.” Lucky little creature.

Now, this next one happened about two years prior to the Gaga Incident.  We are not morning or just-woken-up people.  We’re smartasses as well and Mamma Smartass (Hi! Just call me MS) has a mouth.  It’s about 6:15 pm.  Papa Smartass is asleep (he works graveyard shift) and The Elder Hatchling (TEH) is asleep next to me on the sofa.  Left to her own devices, she would have slept until 9 and not passed out again until close to my midnight, killing my Momma time to do whatever (read, watch tv or a movie, etc).  The grandparent we share a house with would be asleep by 10.  This child needed to wake up now!

So, MS decides to poke & tickle TEH and generally annoy her until she wakes up.  Little darling sits up half awake and mutters ‘F*** off’ and falls right back to sleep.  I was too busy laughing and reminding myself it was my own bloody fault to get mad at that one.  In her defense, it’s the only time she ever used that word.  Smart girl